Sunday, September 24, 2006

The Tap Sends Condolences on loss of Another Fullback

Following the USC - Arizona tilt, Pete Carroll and his team received condolences from an unexpected source, the landmark simulated rock group Spinal Tap. Michael St. Hubbins and Nigel Tufnill, two surviving members of the group reportedly sent condolences, and a special warning for former walk-on and 4th srtinger Mike Brittingham; beware the threat of spontanious combusation.

two other stories of note from the Arizona game,

It has been reported by unconfirmed French sources that during the game Trojans Offensive Coorindator Lane Kiffin was possesed by the unholy undead spirit of former Trojans coach Paul "the'll never expect a run up the gut" Hackett. This speculation may have been caused by the Trojans inability to find any recievers open more than 3 yards from the line of scrimmage, and a fondness for alternating between throwing 4 yard comebackers on 3 and 7, and keeping it between the tackles on 3rd and 11. This haunting may be contagious as it was reported that the Hackett's spirit was featured as a special guest coordinator for Nebraska last weekend.

In a related devolopment USC has been contacted by SEC officals citing copywright infringment on the SEC's "exciting" brand of football. It is reported that SEC officials are worried that fans of low scoring games featuring disinterested and apparantly confused offense may be drawn away from that vernerable southern conference. Our sources tell us that USC remains unworried, as they managed to make 2 extra points in the game -- a feat no SEC team has accomplished in more than a century.


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